Everywhere you look on TV, people are depicting pregnancy in entirely the wrong way. You either have the Hollywood version of horror: think disasters and plane crashes and adrenaline-fueled running with a bump. Or you have the other version of pregnancy that involves prospective mothers smiling and sailing through it, with a huge crash of waters and five pains and boom - baby has arrived in the perfect maternity suite. It’s all a bit far-fetched, totally incorrect and really, it’s setting mothers up for expectations when they’re expecting that just do not make sense.
We will agree that pregnancy is a magical time. I mean, women are building human beings entirely from scratch. You take two tiny ingredients that are smaller than a period point on a sentence, and bam, nine months later you have a fully grown human baby, crying and yelling for help. It’s in these nine months that life changes. It’s not just the burgeoning bump and the need to size-up in the bra department. It’s the emotional and mental changes that go along with it. Pregnancy is filled with many emotions, and unfortunately, they’re not all joyous.
They’re not all pickles and ice cream and giggling over baby booties in the stores. Some of the emotions are downright scary. Your body is going through a lot and your brain has to catch up to those changes while also remembering that life is going to be very different in a few months. This is not easy for the mind to reconcile. Preparation, however, is key. You need to know what to expect when you’re expecting emotionally, not just physically.
With that in mind, you need to take a deep breath. We’re going to dive right in.
A LOT Of Mood Swings
If you thought PMS mood swings were something to fear, then pregnancy mood swings are something else entirely. No one wants to admit that their hormones are affecting them, but they do. Pregnancy comes with more hormones than ever before, and while it can feel like you’re less than capable to handle them, you’re perfectly able to handle them. Talk about how you’re feeling - even when the feelings aren't rational. If you don’t talk about them, you may find that you are holding them in and they’ll burst out at the last second. You can feel happy and laugh, and you can feel happy and sob, or you can feel happy and need to scream. Pregnancy hormones aren’t all that easy to deal with, but deal with them you will.
You’re Going To Want To Sleep... A LOT
Exhaustion is nothing fun, but you truly don't know what exhaustion is until you are pregnant and growing a person. Building a human being takes a lot of strain on your body but this level of exhaustion can literally mean you’re falling asleep - even when you don’t want to be. The books will tell you that you may feel fatigued, but this is just a simple word for the very complex tiredness that pregnancy makes you feel. If you want to sleep and you can do so safely, SLEEP. Learn the art of the nap and nap some more after that. You can’t fight it all the time, and that’s okay. Your body is very busy and respecting that is key. The only thing to really prepare yourself for isn’t the sleepless nights when the baby is here, but the sleepless nights you’ll have on the home stretch of third trimester. Those nights? Those are a horrible thing to deal with because you’re already desperately tired. Fear not, the baby will be here soon and that tiredness? Well, that’ll continue, because you now have a baby.
You May Feel Defeated
This is one of the emotions that is rarely admitted by pregnant women. Every single woman who tries to get pregnant says that they won’t let the baby - or the pregnancy - get in the way of their lives. Those women are wrong. This baby growing in the core of you is going to get in the way of EVERYTHING. It’s going to bring you to your knees some days, but you have to go with it. You can’t be beaten on the inside by this pregnancy. Accept early on that your physical and emotional limitations are going to be tested, and consider that you will need to ask for help. Sure, you're an independent woman who “don't need no one”, but you do now, because you’re pregnant. It is time to get over all that and just accept the added help. Read up to prepare as well, like tips on how to wean a baby or how to balance your new life! Put your pride down; pregnancy is no place for it!
Fear, Darling
You are going to be afraid. You’re going to worry if you can have soft serve ice cream. You’re going to worry whether magnesium is safe to take while pregnant (FYI, it is) and you’re going to worry whether you are lying on your right side for too long when you should be on the left. Every single little thing is going to make you afraid. This is the time your Mama instincts are going to kick in and you’re going to see scary things EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK. This fear? It is normal. It’s scary, but it’s normal and you shouldn't be afraid to feel your feelings. Once you feel them, get to the root of them, even if they seem to be irrational. Then, move on past it.
Annoyance - A Lot Of Annoyance
That lovely partner of yours? They’re going to annoy the living heck out of you. They’re going to breathe and you’ll hear it. They’re going to sit too close, or touch you when you don't want to be touched. They’re going to bring you the wrong flavor of whatever and that’s going to really p*ss you off. Annoyance in pregnancy comes with a territory and you are going to be the Queen of it. Let them know from day one that it’s hormones, and you don’t mean it, but it’s also their fault for getting you pregnant. It’s all about balance.
Lastly, A Little Regret
I’ll start this one by saying you’re not a bad mother for having the “what have I done?” thoughts pop into your brain. No mother gets to the finishing line and doesn't at least wonder once whether she’s really messed up her life. Regret? It’s totally normal and an okay part of pregnancy. It doesn't last, it won’t harm your baby and it will pass when you meet the little bundle of joy.
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