Guest Post by Lisa Haisha -- Five Ways to Raise Your Child to Live From His/Her Authentic Soul

I am excited to share this guest post by Lisa Haisha.  Lisa is a Life Coach to some of Hollywood’s leading celebrity moms, actors, producers and writers. She is also a regular blogger for the Huffington Post.

Lisa developed a concept called Soul Blazing, which is a transformative method of therapy that focuses on connecting people with their Authentic Souls and identifying the masks, or “Impostors,” that hold them back from success and fulfillment. The Imposters are the “the masks,” that people wear especially when confronted with something they fear. Sometimes they’re the voice in people’s heads telling them that they are not good enough, or that reiterates negative conversations or experiences from the past that keep them from picking themselves up and moving forward.

Lisa works counseling mothers on a number of topics including:
•       Does motherhood mean a sexless marriage
•       3 intelligence-boosting tricks every mom should know
•       5 ways to raise your child to live from his/her authentic soul
•       Three tips for balancing me time with motherhood.

When Lisa isn’t counseling, she dedicates her time to her non-profit, which she created with her husband Lee Aronsohn (creator and producer of Two and Half Men and Big Bang Theory). Her charity, Whispers from Children's Hearts Foundation is an organization that brings desperately needed supplies, support, and life skills to orphanages in some of the most remote, war-torn and impoverished places on the
planet.

Please enjoy Lisa's post about how to raise your child to live from their authentic souls.

-------------------

Is your child bullying or being bullied by others?  For a parent, these situations can be emotionally difficult and really put your mettle to the test.  You can support your child navigate these tough interactions by these five ways to help raise your child to live from his/her “Authentic Soul.”

1.  Teach Giving Back.  Expose them in a gentle way at a certain age about how to practice generosity and giving back.  Resist that initial parental instinct to protect your child from every situation, and instead help him or her grow strong by exposing them to people from all walks of life.  

When our children learn to practice kindness towards others it opens their hearts.  I take my daughter with me when I travel for my non-profit to visit orphanages.  She has connected with children who look different, have different cultures from her, and who have endured difficult lives already.  She brings those lessons back into the classrooms and already plays a peacemaker role in her kindergarten!

2. Praise Authentically.  Empower and love your child, but avoid giving empty praise or too much praise.  Studies have found that certain kinds of praise limit children’s abilities to push through challenges and deal with heavier consequences in life.

Praise your child for when they’re being a good person, and teach them to look out for other people.  Talk with your child about noticing friends who are sad in school or who are being bullied.  Encourage your child to look for that and recognize when they reach out and help people in need.  

3. Take the Time to Explain.   When your child asks questions, don’t just say “Because I said so” - explain it to them.  My daughter, Ava, was at dance class when she turned around, pouted and said “I don’t want to study with this teacher.”  I was shocked, and asked why.  “Because she’s fat,” she responded with her arms folded.  

These are perfect teaching moments.  I explained to Ava that it was wrong to dislike someone for being fat and that everyone goes through life with the bodies they’re born in.  I explained that not everyone is shaped the same.  Then, I flipped the situation around and asked her, “You have a little round belly yourself - do you want someone to exclude you because you have a belly?”  

Finally, I took a moment to explain that her dance teacher’s belly meant that she had a baby in her tummy.  Ava’s eyes went wide, and when we went home we read a book about mommies.  By the end, Ava was so excited for her dance teacher and her coming baby!  
When your kids start judging and criticizing at a young age, help walk them through their judgments and encourage them to think about how it would make them feel if someone criticized them.  

4. Teach Them To Recognize Impostors!  In my Soul Blazing practice, I teach my clients how to recognize their “Impostors” - a metaphor for the masks we wear, especially when confronted with something we fear.  It helps to explain that everyone is in some version of pain when they bully, and that it’s not their “Authentic” friend that your child is dealing with.

Remind them to not be on the attack or reactive, that they’ll save themselves a lot of time and energy if they don’t react and don’t take it to heart.  Explain to your child that it’s not an issue with them, but the bully.

My daughter came home from kindergarten upset one day.  One of her friends, Katie, had said “Don’t sit next to Jessie, let’s just play by ourselves today.”  Ava said “Mommy, that hurt me so much,” explaining that she hadn’t wanted to leave Jessie out.  She shared that she didn’t know what to do, but said to Katie “I want to sit next to Jessie, do you want to come join us?”

I told her that I was so proud of her for trying to be kind to both of her friends, and for not letting someone pressure her into being mean to another child.  The more we can help our children differentiate their friends’ behaviors from their Authentic Souls, the more loving and creative they become!

5. Role model from your Authentic Soul.  I role model for my daughter by trying to minimize stressing over things.  I might have been more reactionary when I was younger, but now when I feel like getting frustrated I try a lot harder to stay loving and strong.
Rather than doing everything for her or yelling at her, I focus on giving her the tools to help herself.  She’s being a baby; children are supposed to be babies - needy, whiny, disruptive - that’s their job!  It’s your job to be a parent.  

Role model the kind of life you want to teach them – they learn just as much by seeing as hearing.  Teach your child to share by sharing, teach kindness by being there for others. Those are the moments they’ll remember when they need to draw on strength later on in life. 

About the Author:

Lisa Haisha is the personal counselor to some of America’s biggest Hollywood stars and executives. She is the originator of the unique and powerful counseling approach known as “Soul Blazing”.

Haisha’s client list reads like a “Who’s Who” of America’s Hollywood elite and includes actors, writers, and directors involved with the likes of ER, Party of Five, CSI Miami, Two and a Half Men, Twin Peaks, The Bold and the Beautiful, 90210, and blockbuster movies like Pulp Fiction, Mr. Holland’s Opus, Batman, and numerous others.

Founder of the Soul Blazing Sanctuary in Sherman Oaks, California, Lisa holds monthly weekend and quarterly five-day workshops which have been attended by leading Hollywood elite and individuals seeking transformational change. Lisa Haisha’s international Soul Blazing retreats have also been held in Tanzania, Peru, and Costa Rica. Her highly sought-after keynote speeches have been delivered to corporate and private groups on various continents and elite cruise lines.

A blogger for The Huffington Post and My LA Lifestyle, Lisa Haisha’s published works also include Whispers from Children’s Hearts, a three-year work drawing on interviews with hundreds of children from across the world. Haisha’s book was the genesis for her nonprofit organization, Whispers from Children’s Hearts Foundation, which she co-founded with her husband and Hollywood TV producer Lee Aronsohn. Their foundation provides therapeutic services and soul care to children in impoverished and war-torn countries.

A frequent guest and commentator in national magazines, radio, and television, Lisa also maintains a personal blog, Soul Café, which includes her writing, published articles, photos and videos from her travels.